Raven in the Wind
Its 3:52pm on NYE 2020. I am sitting in the spare bedroom which acts as my makeshift office. The sun is shinning through the blinds, warming the room, my skin and my mood. I watch the trees out front of my townhome whip around as a raven braves the intensity of the heavy wind. I stand up and watch him through the side window as he works hard to steady his wings. Somehow he is able to move forward against the current and it makes me think about this past year and how I can relate to this beautiful bird and his current plight. I continue watching him; a force moving within a force, unwavering, determined and even ambitious. A micro in a macro. The moment captures me as I follow him into a tunnel he found within the wind, a calm that allows him to push onward behind my townhome until I can no longer see him.
This was pretty much how my 2020 went. A year like none other. Among the political, social and global upheaval, coupled with the daily apocalyptical doomsday feel, I experienced a flight much like that of the raven. He endured the struggle of the wind never giving into fear and appeared hopeful and even joyful of his every win as he moved along the skyline.
Why is this little story relevant? Well you see, 365 days ago from today, I was not at all capable of enjoying the warmth of the sun, the blueness of the sky, or even be concerned with the successes of a raven flying in the wind. Back then, I was in too much pain; survival mode. I had deep heart injuries from a year long war that left me with many, many battle wounds. I was lonely and exhausted but not defeated. It was the first NYE in my entire life that I was to spend alone with no one to kiss or hug as the ball dropped or the fireworks went off. It was oddly peaceful despite feeling so sad. I cried myself to sleep that night as I had many before but it was different that symbolic night. It seemed the pain had given way to a strange kind of joy; the hope of healing. I made a commitment and one I clung to all year long as I deep dived, inspected, processed, learned, practiced and grew from during this outrageously horrible yet fantastic year!
Coming full circle now, I write this entry in complete gratitude of my journey in 2020. I rode the brisk wind, I held steadfast and thankful for every struggle and success, setback and win just as the raven had. I was present through it all. I feel the peace that flows through my body now just recalling the year and a warm coziness and pride of a job well done come over me.
So remember this, as 2020 comes to close, no matter where you are or where you want to be, just know there is a raven flying somewhere and if he can journey upward and onward, so can you.
Happy New Years!